Carter: I just wanna apologize for the gag me and my friends at the food court did. I'm really sorry.

Carter: I am truly sorry. We good?
Carter: Hey, excuse me! I just wanna apologize, Sir… Beef Jerky…?
Cop: It's "bee-YUHR-kee".
Carter: Oh, come on! I can't be the first person who's made that mistake!
Elizabeth: Hey, how's it goin'?
Carter: I'm learning the actual names of the people who hate me… and the correct way to pronounce them, so… that's good.
Elizabeth: Well, they preferred to slap you and your friends with an Obstruction of Justice charge. Consider yourself lucky.
Elizabeth: Do these hurt?
Crash: Yeah.
Elizabeth: Good.
Carter: Who's that?
Elizabeth: That is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed piece of raw sewage. Carter! Just finish up here, okay? There's a lot more that we need to discuss.
Carter: Oh, I do hope it's another list of things I've done wrong.
Carter: I'm sorry, it was my idea.
Random cop: I don't envy you. Having her for a mother?
Carter: She's not my mom, she is the woman I have to live with until I find my real mom—which is hopefully before you guys find her.
Random cop: To be honest, it's turned out to be a lot harder than we expected.
Carter: Really?
Random cop: 'Sides you? All we're got is a tipline with sitings from fifty different countries. Who even knows what she looks like now… or what her name is.
Carter: Really? You have absolutely no idea?
He nods.
Random cop: Neither does the FBI.
Carter: That makes me really happy… also really sad. But thank you.
Elizabeth: Look, I know you've had to make some huge adjustments in your life, and your dad and I have tries to give you a long leash.
Carter: I'm on a leash?
Elizabeth: Well, you chwed through it.
Carter: I am loving this dog analogy.
Elizabeth: The point is, clearly we need to set some boundaries.
Carter: Such as…?
Elizabeth: Such as a curfew.
Carter: Okay, pass. Next?
Elizabeth: No, you don't get to pass.
Carter: So, it's not enough that you're a cop, now you wanna throw in old-timey parent as well. Fine. What? You want me to check in with you if I'm out past midnight?
Elizabeth: I was you home by 10pm.
Carter: 'Kay, you have a sense of humor. Didn't know that about you.
Elizabeth: And one minute later, I discontinue your phone service.
Carter: You can't do that. Don't you need that to monitor my every move?
Elizabeth: I don't enjoy being this person, but you have been making some really bad decisions lately, one that landed you in the hospital.
Carter: Fine, but look: I am capable of learning my mistakes.
Elizabeth: All I want is to be a good parent.
Carter: Okay, well, I had one of those, so I know what it looks like. This isn't it.
Carter: Do you know anyone of those cops, Gabe? Because they all seem like jerks.
Gabe: Oh, you met Beef Jerky?
Carter: I apologized to each of them—individually—but is Elizabeth happy? Nope.
Gabe: No.
Crash: It's because Elizabeth is only happy when shee's got a gun against your head telling you to kiss the wall.
Crash: I would have come over to introduce myself, but I wasn't exactly mobile.
Ofe: Here we go.
Carter: Okay, you know how Elizabeth was with you at the police station? Well, she's also like that at home.
Crash: Then, yeah. Yeah, you should go; I wouldn't want you to have to go through that, because the last thing you wanna do is make that woman angry.
Carter: What? You said I had to be home by ten; you didn't say I couldn't have friends over.
Gabe: Dude with the food! Perfect timing, man!
Max: That was the first time you've ever been happy to see me.
Taylor: How does she get away with that?
Grant: Get away with what?
Taylor: Wh-bringing people over—I mean, having a party.
Grant: Are we not allowed to do that?
Ofe: To the mall!
Bird: What?!
Ofe: No? Is that not our rallying cry? Really think it worked last time… know what? Never mind. Look, it was a metaphor.
Carter: I don't really think of it as my place. I mean, the FBI does, but I don't.
Carter: What? You never heard of the girl who came home safe and sound thirteen years ago?
Max: Awh, man, did I just buy a bag of oregano?
Crash: Out there in the real world, this is considered a basic life skill.
David: He's a sociopath; you didn't tell me he was a sociopath.
Crash: Hey, just because we come from different backgrounds doesn't mean I'm a socio—
David: Get out of our house!
Elizabeth: And you can never have anything to do with him again—ever! Do you understand me?
Carter: Yeah. Yeah, I understand you. [To Crash] Well, it was really nice meeting you. Bye.
Carter kisses Crash.
Carter: Do you understand me?
Carter: It's kind of weird, I guess. I mean, I never tought I'd get to meet my father, and… here you are. The only bad thing about you, of course, is that you come with Elizabeth.
David: Notice how slow we are going home? 'Cause I don't wanna go. It feels… less like a home and more like a warzone.
Carter: And you're negotiating a peace treaty?
David: At least to seize fire?
David: Your heart's still beating; hers stopped thirteen years ago.
Carter: And… scene.
David: I don't think I realized until just now how long it's been since anyone's listened to me. It's great having you home.
Carter: 'Cept when I'm blowing the place up, right?
David: Yeah, even then.
Carter: Who's a bad boy?
Gabe: Me… me.
Taylor: There's not really a wrong way to mix.
Elizabeth: Wow, this is nice. I've forgotten how peaceful it can be around here.
Elizabeth: Max, why can't Carter go out with someone like you?
Max: We did out out, we just worked better as friends with occasional benefi—
Max pauses.
Max: They're very occasional. [Clears throat.]
Taylor: I think you have a future in spicing croutons.
Max: Oh. [Laughs.] That's not a real job… is that a real job?
Elizabeth: I really like Max.
Taylor: Me, too.
Elizabeth: Wonder if there's a way I can get them back together, Max and Carter.
Taylor: I don't think she's gonna listen to you.
Elizabeth: That's what I'm counting on.
Kyle: Everyone suffers losses. It's how we handle them that says everything about a person.
Carter: Best behavior, I promise.
Carter: I'd be so excited if I ate red meat.
Max: Hey, you eat croutons, though, right?
Carter: Yes, Max, I eat croutons.
Taylor: He helped me cook…
Carter: I'm sorry, I can't—I can't do it.
Carter: Come on, Max, it's fine. Just ignore her. It's what I do.
David: So much for family dinner.
Elizabeth: We can still enjoy it. I know I'm going to!
Carter: He's sweet. You like him.
Taylor: No. We've been through this. I'm not going through it again. When it comes to boys, you win.
Carter: Thank you, Gabe. You've been such an amazing friend.
Gabe: We bump that up a notch, it gets a little better.
Crash: Look, I know I blew up my chance to get to know you, but at least my record's clean.
Carter: Who said you blew it?
Crash: Elizabeth.
Carter: Exactly.
Ofe: Dude, I'm sorry. You know Crash. This was inevitable.
Gabe: No. I'm inevitable. I'm just not what she wants right now.
Carter: I've been told a lot of lies—only lies, actually.
Crash: All that matters is what you do from this point on… or at least that's what they told me when I aged out of my last detention center.

More quotesEdit

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Episode quotes
Season 1 Pilot  •  The Birds  •  Drive  •  Now You See Me  •  The Heat  •  The Fugitive  •  Throw Momma From the Train  •  Half Baked  •  Do the Right Thing  •  Love Story  •  The Long Goodbye  •  One Hour Photo
Season 2 Love the Way You lie  •  Shut Up and Drive  •  We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together  •  Pretty When You Cry  •  Wake Up Call  •  Stay With Me  •  Something to Talk About  •  Riptide  •  I Knew You Were Trouble  •  Rumour Has It  •  2.11  •  2.12
Finding Carter: Quotes