Max: Woah, art!
Carter: Wow, feels like a real gallery opening.
Taylor: Feels like I should be in the library studying Latin.

Max: I'm not really too fond of crowds myself. I feel like, if you pick one, you know, one's enough.
Taylor: You're surprisingly quotable.
Max: I-I read a lot of T-shirts.
Taylor: Kind of looks like her face is rotting away… you wouldn't put it in your kitchen.
David: Who wants to change the subject?
Max: I do! You know, most people think that humans descended from apes, when actually, we just share a common evolutionary ancestor, so the African Apes, like the chimpanzees and the bonobos and the gorillas, they're really just our cousins. Which, how cool is that?
Max: You said change the subject, and that's one of my favorite subjects. That's why I was offerin' it up…
David: It's okay.
Max: So we can talk about it.
David: We could talk about that, or we could talk about about you two getting a car.
Max: That's awesome. I can't compete with that.
David: If I'm not back in two days, send a search party.
Max: That's a strange thing to say in this house.
Grant: Strange, yet typical.
David: I don't like to talk about something unless it's real.
Taylor: I bet you she came back in the middle of the night last night and put it back up.
Carter: No, she wouldn't dare.
Carter: I don't get it; why would she even paint something this horrible in the first place? And now this? I thought she was my friend.
Elizabeth: Are you doing our laundry?
Max: Yeah. I wanted to show you guys how much I appreciate everything, you all lettin' me stay here, and…
Elizabeth: That is so sweet.
Max: So… so keep that in mind when you s…
Elizabeth: Um… this…
Max: Yeah…
Elizabeth: …happened how?
Max: I forgot to check all my pockets… some candy that-that's just chocolate-tha-I-but you know, I can just redo them—
Elizabeth: No, no, no, no! No, no. Thank you, it's just… it's better off if you just stay away from the washing machine altogether.
Max: I'm sorry.
Elizabeth: It's okay; I know you're heart was in the right place.
Max: Yeah… I'm probably not.
Elizabeth: What do you mean?
Max: Just clearly not the ideal house guest, and I think this is a sign that it's clearly time for me to go.
Elizabeth: Well, Max, I really liked having you here. I mean, the last five minutes haven't been great, but the most the time.
Max: You know, I've gotten totally spoiled by Taylor's cooking. Grant, he's like my best friend now. But I think you can stop worrying about Carter. You know, she has friends here, she has family.
Elizabeth: Does she know that?
Max: Not yet, but she'll figure it out.
Bird: What's the matter? Did the world stop revolving around you for one second?
Ofe: A kiss?! She kissed you when she wasn't high?! You're out of the friendzone! You've moven the ball down the field!
Gabe: No, it was a kiss, but it wasn't a kiss. You know what I mean?
Ofe: Actually, no…
Bird: I can't stand up in these heels.
Taylor: I know, and I'm like your sister.
Max: No.
Taylor: That's not what you were gonna say?
Max: No, but kind of a close call—if you think of me like a brother, we can just—
Taylor: No! N-n-n-no, I don't! Not at all.
Grant: Well, I do. I think you're set on hurting his feelings, Taylor!
Max: No, no, no, dude, dude, don't worry about it; she's not.
Taylor: What were you gonna say?
Max: Just that, um, you kinda sneaked up on me, and uh… yeah…
Lori: It's dangerous for me to be anywhere; at least here, I can see her.
Max: She's Carter. She's who she wants to be, whenever she wants to be it, you know what I mean?
Lori: The thing I am most proud of in this world is being her mother… I miss being her mother.
Lori: I can't stand the thought of her suffering.
Bird: Lonely? Well, I have my two best friends: vodka and fudge.
Taylor: Okay, everyone is responsible for their own cheese.
Bird: You're very lucky! You have a good family.
Grant: Yeah, well, you came on a good night.
Buddy: Unless they're you, and they're forever young.
Joan: Oh, please, Buddy.
Joan: Sorry, kids, sometimes I'm so used to speaking my mind, I forget I'm supposed to be polite. There's a lot to be said, though, to be free to speak your mind.
Carter: Wow, never thought I'd see the day I feel sorry for Elizabeth.
Taylor: If you really wanna make Grandma happy, call her "Gammy".
Carter: Well, listen, thanks for lunch, Gammy.
Joan: Oh! Gammy? She called me Gammy!
Elizabeth: I heard.
Joan: That was your baby name for me! Gammy! You remembered "Gammy"!
Buddy: Gammy and Pop-pop!
Joan: This is my moment, okay? You had yours. Let me have mine.
Elizabeth: It's just… the way you talk about me, it doesn't sound like I'm your wife, it sounds like I'm your accountant.
Kyle: You know, I just wanna say: Before we were anything, we were friends. You'd talk to me. You still can.
Elizabeth: Kyle, I swear to you, it's over with David—completely over.
Carter: Oh, so this is your dinner party, except it's at our house, and we cooked.
Taylor: By "we", you mean me?
Carter: Yes.
Max: Oh, that was a lot better than the greeting I got at home.
Bird: Totally JayMay.
Max: Well, the guy who owns the place, he's super nice; he tells everyone they're the manager.
Taylor: When did this become her house?
Carter: Seriously, you'd understand if you saw her house.
Max: I'm gonna stay here and eat this, if that's okay. It's really good.
Taylor: Mom is gonna freak out when she sees this.
Elizabeth: What's this?
Taylor: Get ready.
Carter: Uh… Idunno, it just kinda happened. Max is back.
Elizabeth: Hey! Max is back!
Max: Hey.
Carter: And uh… and Bird wanted to stay over, and then everyone wanted to stay over… and uh, well, I guess now you're all caught up…
Elizabeth: Looks like fun! Not too much noise. This does look amazing, maybe we should keep it up all the time.
Carter: You don't think she's… discovered weed?
Gabe: Not my night, man.
Ofe: What're you talking about? You're in her house, you're sleeping over.
Ofe: Although, I admit, this doesn't look promising.
Gabe: It's cool, I can wait.
Ofe: Unlucky at love at least means you'll be lucky at cards.
Bird: It's a mask… he was wearing a mask.
Max: I made brownies.
Carter: With Taylor?
Max: Yes…
Carter: Max…
Max: You got a pretty good life here.
Carter: Yeah. It's pretty good.
Max: I'm glad I'm still in it.
Carter: Always, you know that.
Max: So have you thought about what you'd do if you hear from Lori?
Carter: Who?
Max: Lori, your… mom…
Carter: Oh, my God, that is so weird, I… I can't believe I just did that.
Max: I don't know, but you did.
Carter: Yeah, but it… it didn't mean anything. … Max, it didn't mean anything.
Max: It's okay if it does.
Carter: Yeah, but it didn't!
Carter: Love you more.

More quotesEdit

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Episode quotes
Season 1 Pilot  •  The Birds  •  Drive  •  Now You See Me  •  The Heat  •  The Fugitive  •  Throw Momma From the Train  •  Half Baked  •  Do the Right Thing  •  Love Story  •  The Long Goodbye  •  One Hour Photo
Season 2 Love the Way You lie  •  Shut Up and Drive  •  We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together  •  Pretty When You Cry  •  Wake Up Call  •  Stay With Me  •  Something to Talk About  •  Riptide  •  I Knew You Were Trouble  •  Rumour Has It  •  2.11  •  2.12
Finding Carter: Quotes